The Annual Observance of the Lord's Evening Meal

"Does this angle make me look fat?"

JESUS means a lot of things to a lot of people, and a lot of the time groups and individuals do things in his name that probably would make him cry (but that's ok, since his tears cure cancer). One thing done in his name that he gives mad props to, though, is the Memorial of Christ's Death. In fact, if you carefully read the Bible, you'll find that it's the only thing he ever told his followers to celebrate, as opposed to his birth or any other thing he did ("Let's not remember the time I drank two gallons of wine and turned it into piss, ok?" -JC). This is where Christians are supposed to give thanks for the ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ death, as he gave his life as a perfect human being in the universes greatest balancing act, cancelling out sin and promising the defeat of Death itself. Awesome, right?

The Jehovah's Witnesses celebrate this each year, on Nisan 14. Well, it's changed from a Jewish calendar to our Gregorian calendar, but still, the same day. Unlike other groups of Christians, the J-Dubs don't eat or drink the body and blood of Christ, as they believe that it is to be observed with respect and reverence instead. From careful studying of Biblical text, they have deduced that Christ wanted only the "anointed" actually participating in the ritual consumption. The "anointed" are a group of 144,000 individuals over the course of history since the death of Christ that have been chosen by Jehovah to serve as judges with Jesus when the apocalypse comes. Yup. Humans turning into angels in order to judge humans and angels. The rest of the congregation simply passes the plate of unleavened bread and glass of wine around.

The entire ritual involves:

Meeting at sunset.

Singing as a congregation.

Being led in prayer by an elder of the congregation.

Studying of Biblical text concerning the Memorial bread.

Being led in prayer by an elder of the congregation asking for Jehovah's blessing.

Passing of the bread.

Studying of Biblical text concerning the Memorial wine.

Being led in prayer by an elder of the congregation asking for Jehovah's blessing.

Passing of the wine.

Conclusive musings given by an elder of the congregation.

Singing as a congregation.

Being led in prayer by an elder of the congregation.

All together, the ritual ceremony takes about an hour and a half. It is done once a year and is given great respect. Because otherwise, Jesus would shoot them with lightning bolts. True story, bro.

-M